Tuesday, February 3

Line Dancing

Apparently, we'll be line dancing soon. I am impossibly worried. How do you do it?

I assume it's a matter of practice makes perfect, but we'll have had no practice. Line dancing is usually performed by the elderly and Americans, but mostly by elderly Americans. This should make it nice and easy to pick up, but judging by the difficulty we've had in finding the correct clothing it seems to be an underground hobby like acid house, or felching.

Luckily, I'll have a head start. You see, when i was young, I was a part of the Cleveland County Country Dancing championship team. Those heady days on Ravensworth School's field in the hot sun, being swung round by a partner twice my height and 3 times my weight (she was hardly a looker), leading to me being the first person in the world to win a competition involuntarily.

We'll have photos, natch. Mikey will pick it up straight away, as he does, whereas I'll get bored after a while and slope off to the bar. That's my attention span gone and er, er....

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