Thursday, January 31


DUE 2nd FEB at 12.15pm!!!

Saturday, January 26


"What a goal. What a goal! Straight through the legs of Adams, it flew towards the roof of the net like a Wurlitzer! I mean, like a ... howitzer"

Yeah I know, posted it before but it is fucking brilliant in every way.

"Alright, the big Nigerian's a crowd pleaser, Clive, but by 'eck he can be a bit of an amusement arcade. Go on son, give it the full gun!"

And (again) a bit of Ronglish for good measure.

Dream Team Update


1st Chris 1160pts
2nd JBH 1109pts
3rd KG 1097pts
4th Jo 1064pts
5th Graham 1056pts
6th Gumma 1033pts
7th KG Senior 1027pts
8th Mikey 1022pts
9th Pete 924pts
10th Jess 802pts
11th Dale 793pts
12th Stevie 783pts

Sunday, January 20

Blackburn vs. Boro 19-1-08

Saturday, January 19

Dream Team Update

1st Chris 1134pts
2nd JBH 1057pts
3rd Graham 1026pts
4th KG 1019pts
5th Gumma 1001pts
6th Joanne 999pts
7th Mikey 989pts
8th KG Senior 972pts
9th Pete 885pts
10th Dale 768pts
11th Stevie 749pts
12th Jess 742pts

Wednesday, January 16

Heroes of the Wallet #4 - Primal Scream

This went out on BBC3 at 8.20 on a Satda night. Then the Scream went on stage:

(from World of Stuart):

BOBBY: Do you wish you were seeing Kylie Minogue?


BOBBY: Well fuuuuuck you. Fuuuuuuck you. Fuuuuuuuck you.

BOBBY: D'you know what...? We came here in a fucking helicopter.

[Nazi salute]

Sunday, January 13

Middlesbrough 12-1-08

What was meant to be a cracking night out to celebrate a brithday with my workmates turned bad and was very very boring. So bored was I that I left them and went and joined KG, Pete and Jo in Yates's.

A text received at 1.03am from the birthday girl herself read as follows,

"I'm in a taxi on me way home, had a fucking shit night, sorry you came out for a rubbish night!"

Just about sums it up really!

Highlight of the night....KG and the female version of Andy Garrens!!

Bullying by Text

In Yates "Wine Lodge" last night, Joanne decided she wanted that song that goes "we're loving it loving it, loving it" put on by the DJ. However, it turned out that the DJ had thrown a sickie, so music was being provided by mixtape.

We couldn't remember who sang the aforementioned song, so I texted 'Texperts' on 66000 and asked them. KG couldn't quite believe the standard of Texpert's service, so texted them his own question: "Why am I a lardhead?".

Minutes later, we both got replies; DJ Pied Piper for the song, and for KG:

According to Urban Dictionary, lardhead: one whose head is so fat, it seems as if he has no neck or chin. Possible causes: overeating/hormonal disorder.

Fucking lardhead.

2008 and all that

So, it's 2008 and we're still here, nearly 4 years later. Unbelievably, all 3 of us are still alive also (KG is alive, however it's only anecdotal evidence that says so). It's taken us most of that 3 and a bit years to realise that we aren't making this stuff for a global audience and that we'll never probably make much out of it.

However, we do still do it (albeit on a lazy basis) for our friends and to keep as a record of what we did when we were in our mid to late twenties. You know, for alibis and what have you.

Somewhere over the horizon I hear both readers shout "What will you do in the new year?"

Well, who knows? We'll try and log the big events as usual, but if you can think of something you'd like to see 3 morbidly obese idiots do, then drop us a note in the comments or send us an email.

And hey, the BW might just fix it for you!

Saturday, January 12

Dream Team

1st Chris 1066pts
2nd JBH 975pts
3rd Joanne 969pts
4th Graham 959pts
5th KG 925pts
6th Mikey 922pts
7th Gumma 912pts
8th KG Senior 899pts
9th Pete 829pts
10th Stevie 745pts
11th Jess 728pts
12th Dale 713pts

Sunday, January 6

FAO: Mikey

Piece of you, this.

And this, natch.

Middlesbrough 5-1-08

My resolution for the new year is to keep a better track of what we're up to.

Me, Phil, KG and Chris ended up in a very quiet Middlesbrough last night for a night out.

We drank lots of Red Bull...

And looked like chavs...

Saturday, January 5

Dream Team Scores

1st Chris 1030pts
2nd Joanne 952pts
3rd JBH 935pts
4th Graham 912pts
5th KG 900pts
= 6th Gumma 884pts
= 6th Mikey 884pts
7th KG Senior 869pts
8th Pete 807pts
9th Stevie 717pts
10th Jess 709pts
11th Dale 689pts

Tuesday, January 1


There's a "Burnley Wallet Fans" group on Facebook now, join up NOW!

I'd add a link but you have to be logged in, so not much point. I reiterate my point that if you don't use Facebook you are either a hermit or a moron. Or both.

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