Saturday, April 28

Oooh! Dream Team

This is getting interesting now!!

The battle for first place...

1st is Pete on 1515 points
2nd Me 1494 pts
3rd KG 1485 pts

The mid table war...

4th Jo 1363 pts
5th Dale and Emma 1333 pts
6th Graham 1285 pts

The battle of the Dads...

7th KG's Dad 1182 pts
8th Pete and Mikey's Dad 1179pts

And Annette...

9th Annette 639 pts.

Well done to Annette who amassed a collossal 8 points this week!

Wednesday, April 25


Have you ever been playing through your songs on your PC, iPod, mp3 player etc. and it has gone from something sublime to something ridiculous? Well, it happened to me just the other day.

It went from this...

To this...

I know what you're thinking. Who on earth made THAT video? Or, you could be saying, why has he got the Poddington Peas theme tune? Do you know, I'm not too sure.

So, what's your best?

Monday, April 23

Fame? Part 2

So Mikey was linked to by some nutcase on MySpace.

Well, it turns out that Joanne's Grandma is a case study in the psychology of the penalty shoot out, by the looks of this.

Still can't believe he missed.

Saturday, April 21

Points Means Prizes

The Dream Team competition we have ran throughout the season is finally reaching boiling point...

The battle for first place...

1st is Pete on 1481 points
2nd Me 1441 pts
3rd KG 1434 pts

The mid table war...

4th Jo 1316 pts
5th Dale and Emma 1299 pts
6th Graham 1256 pts

The battle of the Dads...

7th KG's Dad 1136 pts
8th Pete and MIkey's Dad 1128pts

Oh, and Annette...

9th Annette 631 pts

Pete - bear in mind that Lampard will get a 20 point bonus for being the top scorer at the end of the season and your apparent 'un-catchable' 40 point lead is halved!

How exciting?

Friday, April 20


Flicking through my various videos on Youtube, there isn't one there that I that still does not cause me to hold my head in shame and say,

"What had been slipped in my drink?"

Now on Youtube, if you're unfamiliar, underneath the videos is a little bit that says "Links" and it tells you how many websites link to the video. The majority of mine say 2 which are usually the Wallet and the post that it features in.

But not on one of them. Oh no.

The Brian Potter, "I don't know if you've noticed but I'm disabled!!", one. That had 3.

"Hmmmm? 3 links eh?" I wondered out loud. "Who could it be?" I clicked and it was a Myspace profile. My heart immediately sank. I knew this was going to be bad.

Meet the drug addled Gwin....


Gwin, on his profile, has kinldy added the following under his Would Like To Meet:

Liam Gallagher and the weirdo on this video(followed by my Potter impersonation).

I was outraged at first! Weirdo? Me? Infact, so miffed was I, that I actually deleted the video.

Only to find it STILL PLAYED on his profile!! ARRH!!

As KG put it (after ten minutes of almost uninterrupted laughter), "If you can't laugh at yourself Mikey...!!!"

I e-mailed Gwin via my Upbeat Glass Smash profile and we are now friends...only in MySpace land though.

And the video has been re-uploaded.

I am still undecided as to whether this whole experience was good or bad.

Thursday, April 19

It's your letters!

Yep, this is a bit old skool innit? You've sent us very little lately, and KG's sack is small and shrivelled. Speak to us!

Here's what we have got.....

Dear Walleteers,

Perhaps I could be named after the second largest city in the Czech Republic?

Know what I mean Harry?

Yours puzzlingly,

'Bruno' Tate

I think you'll find it's Brno, you dyslexic knob.

Dear Walleteers,

Done any of those projects you keep going on about?


Most of our readership

We will get round to it, we promise. We've got loads of stuff written down, but that's as far as it gets. Sorry. Really.

Dear Walleteers,

Your singing is fucking awful. You have no star quality. You are ugly bastards. When's your album out, and how are the rest of Westlife?

Yours chunkily,

Brian Macfadden

Sod off, lardarse.

Well that's it again. For another 4 years or whatever. Or until we get another email. 4 years then. Hmmmph


Recently, I have heard glowing comments about our site from people. Someone even liked me kicking off about the AA advert (thanks, Alex).

We do try and entertain. But do we succeed? Sometimes, probably. Mostly, not.

If, by some stretch of the imagination, something does tickle your funny bone, let us know eh? It only takes 5 mins, if you click the '0 comments' bit down the bottom of the blogs (look, down there!) you can leave us a little note - and you can even do it anonymously. We will come looking for you if you slag us off though.

Cheers in advance, chiefs.


Who's he think he is? Me?

Saturday, April 14

The Nash

It is that time of year when the Grand National has people bouncing up and down on the settee in the front room willing their £1 each wayer through the Aintree course.

"Which one's mine again?" is a guaranteed ask.

Usually followed up by, "The purple helmet?"

And finished with, "I think he's fell."

Hedgehunter is my tip. Rank outsider - Monkerhostin worth a £1.

Friday, April 13

A Short Public Announcement

Attn: The Police Helicopter Pilot.

Please don't hover above my house at 25 to midnight. Somewhat unsurprisingly, I am generally in bed, asleep at this hour. Whilst I'm sure your mission is of the utmost urgency, can you keep the engine down a bit? I could even hear you over the snores of my good lady wife. Which are seriously loud. Please note that I am unable to get out of bed at 7.30am, so your assistance in waking up would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance,


Wednesday, April 11

The Upbeat Glass Smash

4 new songs are up on The Upbeat Glass Smash MySpace site.

1. Another Night Out
2. Epic Ocean Adventure
3. 3 Minute Warning
4. Jupiter

Click here for a listen and don't forget to add me.

X Factor Weekend Finale

Hey there everyone, we've had a load of hits lately probably due to our truly ridiculous singing and shenanigans at Chris's birthday a week or so ago. Last up we have me and Jo singing Don't Stop Me Now...

My fave bit? When KG says "Brian May"!

Wednesday, April 4

X Factor Weekend Part 3

Well here we are with another instalment of videos from the weekend that was...

First a couple of clips of me doing drunk Potter impressions

Ring of Fire. (Please note that is KG belching not me!)

Then the birthday boy himself gets a special sing song. Think Kathryn must have lost count on the hip hips!

Then, remember these? Well here's a little clip of KG just after I drew Chris and Dale!!!


Tuesday, April 3

X Factor Weekend Part 2

Well as promised here's a couple more isntallments from a grand old night.

First up is KG and Jo giving us their rendition of What Ya Waiting For. Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock...

As for pictures, KG got some...

Kathryn the Raver

The Birthday Boy Chris and Alex

Pete and Me

And as for these three, well, just watch!!

More stuff tomorrow!!

Monday, April 2

Meet the Gang

Bored whilst at KG's house watching Boro get beat by West Ham I picked up the little drawing toy that was next to me and well, I decided to draw the gang.

Judge for yourself...

And not letting me miss out, KG had a go at drawing me...

X Factor Weekend

It had to happen one night.

A full on karaoke session all caught on camera!!

It was a wild old weekend, I spent Friday night at my old bosses leaving do (5 months later if you can work that out?) and then losing my rag in Walkabout.

Then, on Saturday, "2pm start?", asks KG.

"Oh aye", says I.

With 16 tins of Orangeboom in our hands we arrived at Casa del Appleby for a good old fashioned birthday party for Chris Groves, who is 22 tomorrow!

Happy Birthday me old son!!

There is a load of videos so I've had to do them separately rather than give an hour long special presented by Kate Thorn....Dermot O'Leary!

So first up, we all love a bit of Jet...don't we?!

And now from Jo and KG...


MORE SOON!!! Including Don't Stop Me Now, Ring of Fire, Winds of Change and a fantastic rendition of What Ya Waiting For!

Oh and there's a few other videos as well to come, a couple of Phoenix Night Impressions, Chris blowing his candles out and 3 completely off it birds raving in Yates!!

Sunday, April 1


As usual, we at the Wallet jump on the internet bandwagon at least 2 years too late.

So we've knocked a MySpace wotsit together. Look!

It's not up to much. But 'friend us up', if that's the accepted terminology. I'm sure it is. I am, after all, down with the MySpace kidz. Innit.

No Explaining if you don't get it

Nicked. B3ta, natch.

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