Thursday, March 29

Changing Rooms

83 Unused Window Sealant packs (don't even bother asking.)
7 Toolkits
4 Dead Spiders
2 Lardheads
1 Pikey

Yes, myself and KG decided it was time to clean out the garage at his Mam's house for a bit of a giggle.

I say a bit of a giggle, it was more a bit of a nightmare.

"Hey Mikey, we could change it into a gym or summat!"

"Er, hows about a bar?"

"Fuck me, a never thought of that."

Away we went.

I have never seen so much junk in a small amount of space since I last had the bonnet up on the Punto. This time though, I had the boot up on the Punto and in went bits of wood, a smashed in hi-fi, two, what can only be described as , 'unused', drill sets and a kitchen waste bin full with...

"Kitchen waste?" I asked.

"No mate, it's full of Rollerblades."

So with the Punto loaded up for trucking and the grizzly KG unfortunately not in hot pursuit I made my way to the Recycling Centre in Warrenby just outside Redcar.

It's more of a Pikey's playground than a Recycling Centre. When I got there I thought I had just driven into the set of Snatch and was about to be asked, "Ye wanna buy a caravan?"

I pulled up to any random skip and started unloading when this rough fella comes over, fag in mouth, coat ripped.



"What the hell are ye doing son? Ye cannet put stuff where ye want ye know. Hang on fella, are doze drills in good nick?"

"Dunno mate. What shall I do with this kitchen waste bin?"

"Kitchen waste bin? What's in it?"

I had to think fast. I didn't want to end up ina fight with One Punch (or was it One Lung?!) Mickey.

I gave a look of despair and sighed.

"Roller-pissing-blades."

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