On Thursday, Anna Nicole Smith died. The 39 year old former Playboy Playmate of the Year with the big boobies popped it the other day with a suspected overdose. However, an autopsy has proved inconclusive. Very Marilyn Monroe.
Now 3 blokes are arguing over who is the father of her daughter Daniellynn and one of these is 60 year old Prince Frederik of Denmark. "Good Work Fella", I hear you cry but even better work to Zsa Zsa Gabor who is 90 year old and married to the randy prince.
It's a bit mad in Hollywood isn't it?
England got beat by Spain 1-0. Yet, Steve McClaren can see a rainbow apparently.
I too can see one, we have the players but the one I see doesn't feature the colour ginger. Lampard on the left. P Neville at left back. Sorry, I meant to say P Neville in the team.
It can't be that hard can it? To play players in their favoured position and ask them to play well?
Well it must be, that's why he is the England manager and I work in a grey office in Middlesbrough.
It snowed a bit last week.
And I say a bit because some countries get a truck load more than us and life goes on as normal. Not Britain. Schools shut, roads closed, people crashed their cars and generally everything stopped.
The Blitz? Pah, the Germans should have made it snow.
And as for my trip to the dentist on Wednesday afternoon. Please let this be the only time I have to relive it.
After a root filling, which believe me wasn't pleasant, my insane Spanish/Mexican dentist (who I just can not understand) managed to snap half a tooth off. Well done butter fingers - what else are you doing in there? And what on earth are you asking me?
All this and I had to wear huge plastic glasses.
After all the clumsiness was over the end result is I need a crown fitted and must empty my wallet in the process...oh joy! I am also now on antibiotics which means I can't drink unless I want a big old headache and also why I have stayed in to give you my weekly impression of Jeremy Clarkson.
So for those of you who cane chocolate, red bull and alcopops (50% of the 18 - 30 year olds in Britain every weekend I imagine) just look after your teeth, do you hear me?