Monday, January 29

An Off Day

I was off work today. I fulfilled the one duty of being off work and arrived home by 10.30. The rest of the day, to do what I liked, was mine.

By 10.45 I had exhausted all but one option. I couldn't go to the pub. I'm 27, drinking alone is not the done thing. All of the boys and girls were at work. It was freezing outside. There was one thing left. The cinema. On my own.

Being on my own wasn't a problem. Because it's so dark, you can get away with it. Plus, it was lunchtime on a Monday, so the place would be empty. Or would it? OR would it? OR WOULD IT?

I arrived at the formerly futuristic Showcase at 1 PM. I'll nip to Hollywood Bowl, have a bit of a go on the machines, then go and watch the film - excellent. Off I scooted to the aforementioned tenpin establishment, where I tried my luck on the 4 player Outrun 2 machine - smashing the high score in the process.

In high spirits and with a spring in my step, I wandered back to the cinema. THEN IT ALL WENT HORRIBLY WRONG.

Stood on the steps leading to the numerous doors, were approximately 14 of the most scally, chav-esque dipshits you've ever seen. Surely they wouldn't be going to see "The Last King of Scotland" would they? They must be off to see Rocky, or even Happy Feet?

Sadly not. I joined the queue behind these scallies, who had now been joined by a leader in a red fleece. Young offenders? Oh, yes, your honour. 15 for King of Scotland please! I could put up with this, couldn't I? Just sit at the other side! No. Not quite.

One of the scallies shouts (and I spell this as I heard it) "Ere man, dis is gunna be wikkid, innit!"

I turned on my heel and left. As did a couple stood behind me.

My Monday afternoon with Idi Amin was ruined. I went home and played cricket on the Xbox, and ate Hob Nobs. Pisser, or what?


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